Hoping to stay in love with your partner forever? Well, you’ve heard before that good relationships require effort.  Now is it just me or is there a slightly disappointing element to this advice…wouldn’t it be easier if we just fell in love and that was that?

But you know better, don’t you?  Being in love isn’t always enough to keep your relationship in good standing. In fact, “love” is more of something you do rather than a state of arrival or achievement. It’s an action, a way of being and behaving. It’s all the steps you take to create and maintain a fulfilling relationship.

stay in love


To help you get the ball rolling with doing love in your relationship, I’ve created a complete list of all the actions you can take to maintain that loving feeling between you and your partner. 


88 Ways to Stay Madly In Love 

Remember that a good relationship is comprised of many different parts, including intimacy, friendship, communication, and of course…individuality!

I’ve included tips for all the most important categories.  There might be an area, overall, that you need to up your love game, so just pay attention to where you find yourself focused most and send your energy in that direction!


1. Start the day with a kiss

2. Always kiss goodnight

3. Accept that sex isn’t always perfect

4. Actively create an interesting sex life rather than waiting for your partner to spice it up

5. Tell them exactly what you love about sex with them

6. Be brave and explain what you want them to do differently during sex

7. Openly talk about your sexual fantasies (starting slowly)

8. Make a conscious decision to have sex rather than waiting for the passion to take over (because you might be waiting a long time!)

9. Send sexual text messages during the day

10. Schedule sex in your calendar

11. Flirt with them throughout the day

12. Dress yourself in a way that makes you feel confident and sexy around your partner

13. Try a 7-day intimacy-challenge (like this one)

14. Hold hands a much as possible 



15. Pay attention to what makes you both smile and consciously plan to do those activities more often

16. Save a Netflix show for just the two of you

17. Find couple friends that you both enjoy hanging out with

18. Watch comedy together and find your mutual sense of humor

19. Create inside jokes and keep them private

20. Be curious about how your partner changes over the years

21. Listen to music you both enjoy

22. Play games together (board games, cards, sports, video)

23. Maintain your individual friendships



24. Smile at them, just because

25. Write a “why I like you” list and leave it out for them to see

26. Reflect your understanding of how they feel, particularly when they have a hard day

27. Show empathy for their challenges (even if you wouldn’t react the same way)

28. Show interest in their hobbies (even if you don’t really care for them)

29. Ask questions about their past

30. Show respect for their friends and family members (even if you wouldn’t have chosen them yourself)

31. Have an ongoing bucketlist for the two of you

32. Dream about life’s possibilities

33. Try new activities together

34. Plan date nights at home

35. Choose to stay committed + loyal to one another

36. Set goals together and talk about them annually

37. Review your year together during anniversaries or birthdays


PRAGMATIC (the nitty-gritty life stuff)

38. Do a chore that your partner hates

39. Do something that is usually your partner’s responsibility

40. Pull the covers down for your partner if you get in bed first

41. Leave their toothbrush out for them if you’ve brushed yours first

42. Let them sleep in on the weekend and take the kids out of the house

43. Cook their favourite meal

44. Offer a massage or foot rub

45. Let them choose the movie 

46. Think and act like a team

47. Pick up the slack when they are stressed or busy

48. Find ways to make each other’s days easier



49. Sneak a note in their bag that expresses something you love about them

50. Tell them at least one thing every day that you appreciate about them

51. Write down 5 things you are grateful for every day

52. Accept one another’s imperfections

53. Appreciate their quirks and odd ways

54. Don’t expect them to be the same person they were when you met

55. Respect that they will grow and change many times through life

56. Tell them regularly what you find attractive about them

57. Thank your partner for working hard

58. Forgive your partner

59. Verbally reinforce your partner for things you like them doing (so they keep doing them)



60. Get enough rest so that you’re pleasant to be around

61. Take care of your physical self so that you are healthy, energized, + have an active sex life

62. Give one another space to be individuals, and allow yourself to follow personal interests

63. Honour your individual privacy. You don’t owe 100% of your thoughts to one another

64. Exercise together and enjoy the endorphins

(need some self-care ideas? Check out this post about realistic self-care strategies)



65. Surprise your partner with a “just because” gift

66. Keep a note in your phone about possible gift ideas throughout the year so that you’re prepared when birthdays or other gift-giving holidays come around

67. Tell your partner what you’d love to receive as a gift so they have some direction

68. Plan a surprise getaway (or date)



69. Put technology away at a certain time every evening so you can focus entirely on one another (here are some ideas to mindfully manage technology)

70. Create a “No technology in the bedroom” rule

71. Have a charging station where your devices are stored when not in use 

72. Sit down together for at least a 10 uninterrupted minutes every day 

73. Catch yourself getting swept up in busy life and intentionally plan time together

74. Plan a date night at home

75. Set money aside in your monthly budget for a date together (when you plan, it’s more likely to happen)

76. Refuse to accept boredom

77. Send messages to one another throughout the day



78. Never argue about feelings. Accept their feelings without getting defensive or trying to change them

79. Show love even when you’re angry

80. Avoid swearing or yelling during arguments

81. Apologize when you’ve messed up or said something hurtful

82. Take responsibility for your part of problems

83. Avoid pressing their buttons simply because you can

84. Avoid passive communication; always be direct and clear

85. Face challenges together 

86. Ask for feedback about what you can do differently if you’ve been fighting a lot

87. Listen without talking or interrupting

88. The conversations that are hardest to have are the most important to have

Finding yourself fighting all the time? Check out this FREE training video where I show you how to argue more constructively and stay connected.  Click anywhere on the image below to access the video.

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What’s missing from the list? Comment below if you have other tips you’d like to share!  

Happy loving!