Hoping to stay in love with your partner forever? Well, you’ve heard before that good relationships require effort. Now is it just me or is there a slightly disappointing element to this advice…wouldn’t it be easier if we just fell in love and that was that?
But you know better, don’t you? Being in love isn’t always enough to keep your relationship in good standing. In fact, “love” is more of something you do rather than a state of arrival or achievement. It’s an action, a way of being and behaving. It’s all the steps you take to create and maintain a fulfilling relationship.
To help you get the ball rolling with doing love in your relationship, I’ve created a complete list of all the actions you can take to maintain that loving feeling between you and your partner.
88 Ways to Stay Madly In Love
Remember that a good relationship is comprised of many different parts, including intimacy, friendship, communication, and of course…individuality!
I’ve included tips for all the most important categories. There might be an area, overall, that you need to up your love game, so just pay attention to where you find yourself focused most and send your energy in that direction!
INTIMACY
1. Start the day with a kiss
2. Always kiss goodnight
3. Accept that sex isn’t always perfect
4. Actively create an interesting sex life rather than waiting for your partner to spice it up
5. Tell them exactly what you love about sex with them
6. Be brave and explain what you want them to do differently during sex
7. Openly talk about your sexual fantasies (starting slowly)
8. Make a conscious decision to have sex rather than waiting for the passion to take over (because you might be waiting a long time!)
9. Send sexual text messages during the day
10. Schedule sex in your calendar
11. Flirt with them throughout the day
12. Dress yourself in a way that makes you feel confident and sexy around your partner
13. Try a 7-day intimacy-challenge (like this one)
14. Hold hands a much as possible
FUN + FRIENDSHIP
15. Pay attention to what makes you both smile and consciously plan to do those activities more often
16. Save a Netflix show for just the two of you
17. Find couple friends that you both enjoy hanging out with
18. Watch comedy together and find your mutual sense of humor
19. Create inside jokes and keep them private
20. Be curious about how your partner changes over the years
21. Listen to music you both enjoy
22. Play games together (board games, cards, sports, video)
23. Maintain your individual friendships
CONNECTION
24. Smile at them, just because
25. Write a “why I like you” list and leave it out for them to see
26. Reflect your understanding of how they feel, particularly when they have a hard day
27. Show empathy for their challenges (even if you wouldn’t react the same way)
28. Show interest in their hobbies (even if you don’t really care for them)
29. Ask questions about their past
30. Show respect for their friends and family members (even if you wouldn’t have chosen them yourself)
31. Have an ongoing bucketlist for the two of you
32. Dream about life’s possibilities
33. Try new activities together
34. Plan date nights at home
35. Choose to stay committed + loyal to one another
36. Set goals together and talk about them annually
37. Review your year together during anniversaries or birthdays
PRAGMATIC (the nitty-gritty life stuff)
38. Do a chore that your partner hates
39. Do something that is usually your partner’s responsibility
40. Pull the covers down for your partner if you get in bed first
41. Leave their toothbrush out for them if you’ve brushed yours first
42. Let them sleep in on the weekend and take the kids out of the house
43. Cook their favourite meal
44. Offer a massage or foot rub
45. Let them choose the movie
46. Think and act like a team
47. Pick up the slack when they are stressed or busy
48. Find ways to make each other’s days easier
GRATITUDE
49. Sneak a note in their bag that expresses something you love about them
50. Tell them at least one thing every day that you appreciate about them
51. Write down 5 things you are grateful for every day
52. Accept one another’s imperfections
53. Appreciate their quirks and odd ways
54. Don’t expect them to be the same person they were when you met
55. Respect that they will grow and change many times through life
56. Tell them regularly what you find attractive about them
57. Thank your partner for working hard
58. Forgive your partner
59. Verbally reinforce your partner for things you like them doing (so they keep doing them)
SELF-CARE
60. Get enough rest so that you’re pleasant to be around
61. Take care of your physical self so that you are healthy, energized, + have an active sex life
62. Give one another space to be individuals, and allow yourself to follow personal interests
63. Honour your individual privacy. You don’t owe 100% of your thoughts to one another
64. Exercise together and enjoy the endorphins
(need some self-care ideas? Check out this post about realistic self-care strategies)
GIFTS
65. Surprise your partner with a “just because” gift
66. Keep a note in your phone about possible gift ideas throughout the year so that you’re prepared when birthdays or other gift-giving holidays come around
67. Tell your partner what you’d love to receive as a gift so they have some direction
68. Plan a surprise getaway (or date)
QUALITY TIME
69. Put technology away at a certain time every evening so you can focus entirely on one another (here are some ideas to mindfully manage technology)
70. Create a “No technology in the bedroom” rule
71. Have a charging station where your devices are stored when not in use
72. Sit down together for at least a 10 uninterrupted minutes every day
73. Catch yourself getting swept up in busy life and intentionally plan time together
74. Plan a date night at home
75. Set money aside in your monthly budget for a date together (when you plan, it’s more likely to happen)
76. Refuse to accept boredom
77. Send messages to one another throughout the day
CONFLICT
78. Never argue about feelings. Accept their feelings without getting defensive or trying to change them
79. Show love even when you’re angry
80. Avoid swearing or yelling during arguments
81. Apologize when you’ve messed up or said something hurtful
82. Take responsibility for your part of problems
83. Avoid pressing their buttons simply because you can
84. Avoid passive communication; always be direct and clear
85. Face challenges together
86. Ask for feedback about what you can do differently if you’ve been fighting a lot
87. Listen without talking or interrupting
88. The conversations that are hardest to have are the most important to have
Finding yourself fighting all the time? Check out this FREE training video where I show you how to argue more constructively and stay connected. Click anywhere on the image below to access the video.
What’s missing from the list? Comment below if you have other tips you’d like to share!
Happy loving!
